So yesterday morning I was thinking the random things I think about as I made my way up this incredibly large hill to the hospital where I work. We all trudge up like blue ants up an ant hill, following in each other's wake, smelling the smells that waft from in front of us. Usually it's coffee, or hairspray, face makeup, cigarette smoke, or perfume. And that got me thinking.
We put smells on our body on purpose so we can smell like something different. Even soap is scented. But has anyone ever really thought about what humans consider acceptable fragrances? Here's a few to review.
1. Ode de Human Infant: otherwise known as Baby Powder. This is actually the smell of what a newly birthed human offspring smells like. Strange choice for a thirty year old man's lotion, but whatever. I said we were quirky.
2. Food: My aunt used to put a dab of vanilla extract behind her ears when she was a teen. She's happily married now to a guy who loves to eat. Personally, if I smelled like strawberries I'm sure the only thing I would attract would be bees.
3. Miscellaneous Items Indigenous to Earth: Either this is really appealing or the perfume people are running out of ideas. So what exactly is cashmere? Wikipedia tells me it's a fiber of a wool. So people are actually desiring to smell like sheep. And what does a pearl or diamond smell like? I have no idea. I've never smelled my necklaces or wedding ring. These don't make any sense to me but you can buy them.
4. Pheromones of Animals: This is musk. Nothing makes me feel more feminine than spraying myself with come-on horny juice from a wild animal.
4. Sex Organs of Plants: Of course these are flowers and grass. The original perfume from way back to cave man days (I'm assuming this is true. I don't know for sure no matter how old my kids think I am). Lemon balm, sandalwood, aloe, freesia, roses. I'm not sure what's worse, pheromones of animals or plants. What does this really say about humans? Is this what we'd rather be?
So there you have it. Proof of human choices when it comes to odor. Did I mention we're quirky?