Just thought you might like some hints on how to handle the gripes and complaints from all the women out there in regards to their 'Lady Time', 'Aunt Flo', 'That Time', 'Monthly visitor', etc. Here goes.
From general consensus, considering we are in the 2st century, notices and information are requested to be in text form. It seems everyone is tired of the guessing games. No more of this wishy-washy 'maybe you should be on guard today, or tomorrow, or the end of the week' stuff. They want concise and to the point. Being passive-aggressive is so 1880's.
This crap of messing with body systems is exhausting to figure out. Don't be greedy. You don't need to take credit for any more than you already do. If you insist, can we feel we're in charge by at least allowing us a choice?
And the nonsense of community is going too far. Syncing a whole office of women at the same time is not funny. At all. Not only does it eerily compare to a den full of lions with thorns in their paws, productivity halts and it freaks out the male bosses making them wish they could take a week vacation every 28 days.
So, being as old fashioned as you are, I decided to help you out with a template.
Hello, enter name it’s your friend Mother Nature. This is to let you know I will be dropping off your package this month on enter day at enter time o’clock so you are prepared. Your coworkers will be spaced accordingly so all the chocolate in the break room will be yours.
It will also be a light month with a slight headache or one outburst. Your choice. You’re welcome.
Hi, this is Mother Nature. I have a few things to add…
Since it will be a light month and because of my generosity, I am now taking your preferences for the additional services provided by our representative of Hell to balance out my kindness. Please check off three (3) boxes. Failure to do so will result in turmoil.
___weight gain ___tenderness ___nausea ___bloating
___cramps ___tearfulness ___food cravings ___food aversions
___insomnia ___moodiness (tier 1) ___PMS package (tier 2)
Don’t mess with Mother Nature